Tuesday, 10 January 2012

All's Quiet on the Western Front

The title (taken from one of my all-time favourite novels) says it all, really. I haven't a great deal to blog about today. I haven't been anywhere other than my room, or the local Tesco, since 27 December 2011 because I've been holed up in the house trying to research and write a 4,500 word essay on the merits and disadvantages of using newspapers as an historical source. My previous MA essay was about class history and whether it's still relevant for modern historians. It is as boring as it probably sounds and all I will say is that I did not sign up for this; I signed up for historical LOLZ and nosing into other people's lives like Sherlock Holmes, not debating whether newspapers reflect public opinion or lead it and other such tediums *snore*

I have spent the past couple of weeks with a topknot on my head, glasses on face, head buried in an array of dryly-written academic books. I have tried to blog and put up YouTube videos as often as possible, but I have to admit defeat now. I have actually lost subscribers on YouTube, even after putting two videos up since Christmas. I have gained maybe one new follower on the blog since I took time from my essay to redesign it for the new year. I am seriously considering shutting both down as I'm not reaching a large readership here (I can't remember the last time I had a comment on a blog post) and nor am I really garnering much support on YouTube. Clearly, I'm far more dull than I thought, despite being incredibly self-critical! At the very least, I'm going to take a break for a few days to consider whether I should continue or not as whilst I blog for myself, it would be a lie if I said I didn't want others to read and engage with my blog/YouTube. I think the final straw came today when a young lady on twitter noted that her blog had been live for 6 days, had 6 posts, and she had 102 followers. I don't even have half this amount and I've been blogging for nearly a year. I think the time comes when you have to look at yourself and wonder whether it's worth it; after all, it takes a lot of time, effort and money to run a blog and YouTube channel successfully. I am spending all of these things, but not being incredibly successful nonetheless.

So, in a long-winded way I just want to let you all know that I have nothing of worth to say to you today. As a result, I will merely post a picture of my head for your displeasure. Also, I want to note that I am not depressed or sad (stressed, yes), I am just trying to face facts and be practical and hoping that someone somewhere will provide me with some sort of helpful (but not nasty) feedback so I can improve and make my time and effort thus far worth it by turning things around. A massive thanks to everyone who has supported me thus far, regardless of whether I continue in the long term or not. I shall keep you posted.

Much love,
Nicole x

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